How to Lose All The Weight You Want in Just 89 Simple Steps
Summer's here and the time is right for getting super duper skinny! Where to begin? Since there are always approximately one point seven two zillion stories about how to lose weight, you might be confuzzled. Don't be! We collected the most important weight loss stories we've seen over the last couple of months and compiled them into one handy guide. If you do everything on this list, you will absolutely, positively lose weight — and maybe your mind.
70. Take a new drug called Belviq with side effects like dizziness and fatigue.
71. Or maybe beloranib, a new experimental drug with side effects including trouble falling asleep, nausea and vomiting?
72. How about Phentermine, a very effective drug for fast weight loss? Watch out, though: It's only approved for short-term use for a period of 12 weeks or less. If you stop taking the pill, "you will most likely regain the weight you initially lost." Also side effects include abnormally high blood pressure, yikes.
73. Okay: Try DHEA, aka dehydroepiandrosterone, a natural steroid hormone produced by the adrenal glands. Research shows it has a significant effect on decreasing in abdominal fat. But! Side effects include facial hair growth, oily skin, and acne. Adorable.
74. Take the awesome-sounding drug called Reversatrol... which GlaxoSmithKline plans to discontinue working on. Oops.
88. Plus, remember that science doesn't even understand how obesity works, and, as Judith Shulevitz writes for The New Republic, "It’s hard but not impossible to lose weight. But it’s nearly impossible to keep it off."
Over the past 20 years or more, as the American people were getting fatter, so were America’s marmosets.
Obviously, if animals are getting heavier along with us, it can’t just be that they’re eating more Snickers bars and driving to work most days. On the contrary, the trend suggests some widely shared cause, beyond the control of individuals, which is contributing to obesity across many species.
…Many researchers believe that personal gluttony and laziness cannot be the entire explanation for humanity’s global weight gain. Which means, of course, that they think at least some of the official focus on personal conduct is a waste of timeand money. As Richard L Atkinson, Emeritus Professor of Medicine and Nutritional Sciences at the University of Wisconsin and editor of the International Journal of Obesity, put it in 2005: ‘The previous belief of many lay people and health professionals that obesity is simply the result of a lack of willpower and an inability to discipline eating habits is no longer defensible.’
A study by Laura Fonken and colleagues at the Ohio State University in Columbus, published in 2010 in theProceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, reported that mice exposed to extra light (experiencing either no dark at all or a sort of semidarkness instead of total night) put on nearly 50 per cent more weight than mice fed the same diet who lived on a normal night-day cycle of alternating light and dark.
It’s possible that widespread electrification is promoting obesity by making humans eat at night, when our ancestors were asleep.
There is also the possibility that obesity could quite literally be contagious. A virus called Ad-36, known for causing eye and respiratory infections in people, also has the curious property of causing weight gain in chickens, rats, mice and monkeys. Of course, it would be unethical to test for this effect on humans, but it is now known that antibodies to the virus are found in a much higher percentage of obese people than in people of normal weight.